Within the last few months, I sent you a query regarding my book, [title redacted], which you kindly declined to represent. In the interim, I have built my own website , and I’ve since had grown my audience to hundreds of enthusiastic readers. I’d like to invite you to check it out at [url redacted],

If you are interested in representing this book, then I would be interested in speaking with you.

Thanks for your time,

If anyone is interested in how to write a query letter, well, this is not the way. Among the errors here:

• Not researching the recipient. I am neither an agent nor a publisher.
• Not tailoring the letter. You can’t just dash off one letter and assume it will work for everyone. Imagine you need to convince 10 people in your workplace to go along with a plan. If you are smart you will talk to each one individually and address the special concerns of each person. Book publishing is very competitive, and you have to do the same.
• Beginning with a negative. I can guarantee you that many or most agents and publishers will stop reading after the opening sentence, which announces that they have already rejected this manuscript. The likelihood of a manuscript being reconsidered by a legitimate agent or publisher after a “few months” approaches zero (this is one reason not to go crazy with multiple submissions early on, as you can quickly exhaust the market with that approach). And the author does not even mention rewriting.
• Not looking at the pitch from a publisher’s perspective. Is “hundreds” a strong number for a website? It is not. And how many is that, exactly? For the sake of argument, let’s say 500. Suppose you could get an incredible 10 percent rate of return on sales of the book to this group — that’s 50 books. Not too appealing!
• Not selling the work. There is nothing in this e-mail that says anything about the nature of the work.
• Not proofreading. That is the author’s comma at the end of the first paragraph.

I will give the author points for effort. At least he is trying — he’s not giving up. But he needs to go about finding representation in a more intelligent way to maximize his chance of success. (I’ve sketched out some tips about the process in my guide to getting a book published.) I wish him the best.

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Mailbag: A form query

Right Reading  received the following e-mail (slightly edited) from Jag Bhalla.

Hello Tom

I discovered your blog via Twitter and was very impressed by your chucklesome publishing world ‘devils dictionary’.

Also as a lover of language play, thought you might enjoy the following:

a) On “language addiction (its our most ubiquitous mind altering drug) and the thrill of the novel (semantic ambush).” http://bit.ly/m6DQ5 (National Post Canada)

b) A new National Geographic book – called “I’m Not Hanging Noodles on your Ears” which is the Russian idiom that is the equivalent of our ‘I’m not pulling your leg’.

The book is primarily intended as an amusing gift book. To which end it features over 1000 idioms from 10 languages, plus illustrations by a New Yorker cartoonist. The majority of the idioms have not been exposed before in English (other than in bilingual dictionaries). It also contains lighthearted essays on related linguistics, psychology, anthropology and neuroscience.

Mr. Bhalla also provides the following examples from his book of idioms:

To live like a maggot in bacon – German – to live in luxury
Squeezer of limes – Hindi – self invited guest, idler
To reheat cabbage – Italian – rekindle an old flame
Like fingernail and dirt – Mex. Span – well suited
Bang your butt on the ground – French – to die laughing
To make tea with your navel – Japanese – laughable
Swallowed like a postman’s sock – Col. Span – in love
Plucked like a chicken – Yiddish – exhausted
To bite the elbow – Russian – to cry over spilt milk
Belch smoke from 7 head orifices – Chinese – furious
Ant milker – Arabic – miser, tight wad
Give it to someone with cheese – Spanish – to deceive

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Mailbag: A book of idioms

Mark Bromberg of Bellemeade Books writes on the subject of Jonathan Williams, author and publisher of the Jargon Society (we published his The Magpie’s Bagpipe at North Point Press) and generously includes the above scan of a Jargon Society publication, which I take the liberty of sharing.

… I have been a long-time reader and admirer of the late Jonathan Williams and his Jargon Society Press, the website here now run by his friend and collaborator, Thomas Meyer (A selection of 1960s correspondence between Davenport and Williams about publishing, art, and life can be found here).

I thought you might enjoy this cover image of “Elite/Elate Poems” (Jargon, 1975) — with authentic-era coffee stains! — and a BellemeadeBooks post about Mr. Williams from the archives. You will be able to access the entire blog with more timely posts once you are there.

Thanks, Mark!

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Mailbag: Bellemeade Books and Jonathan Williams

I wanted to let you know we just released our 2nd issue, featuring work by Colson Whitehead, Lydia Davis, Stephen O’Connor, Pasha Malla, and Marisa Silver….

We made a trailer for Colson’s story: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lSf_4vxWmxg – we are always extremely grateful when you feature our videos on your site.

Sure, why not?

Here’s a blurb:

In our autumn 2009 anthology, Colson Whitehead charts the rise to fame of a truth-telling comedian. Stephen O’Connor transports us to a cabin in the woods, where a young woman attempting to finish her dissertation in solitude becomes increasingly convinced she’s not alone. Pasha Malla follows a young writer as he explores how tragedy influences art—and how life falls short of it. Marisa Silver tells the tale of three sisters who perceive the truth about their parents through the eyes of some unexpected visitors, and Lydia Davis’ solitary narrator acutely details the behavior of three cows who live in a pasture just across the road.

Finally, we are having a party on Oct 28th in NYC with Miho Hatori of Cibo Matto, Michael Cunningham, Jim Shepard, and Martha Colburn…. Details are here: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Electric-Literature/90126328010?ref=ts#/event.php?eid=149127881031&ref=mf

Andy Hunter, Editor in Chief

http://www.electricliterature.com

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Mailbag: Electric Literature 2 (and party)

Hi, Tom –

I loved your tips on how to get published. Great – and much needed – advice!

I am getting in touch to see if you might consider adding a book to your list of resources: Don’t Sabotage Your Submission by Chris Roerden, winner of the 2009 Benjamin Franklin Award™ for Literary Criticism.

Following is more information and some tips from Chris.

Thanks in advance, and have a nice day!

Maryglenn McCombs

***

MM Book Publicity
2817 West End Avenue
Suite 126-274
Nashville, TN 37203

For Immediate Release
Contact: Maryglenn McCombs

Date: August 19, 2009

Publishing Industry Veteran Shares Tips for Aspiring Authors

Rock Hill, S.C. — “Why was my novel rejected?” Millions of writers haven’t a clue, says veteran book editor Chris Roerden.

Roerden, author of Don’t Sabotage Your Submission, winner of the 2009 Benjamin Franklin Award™ for Literary Criticism, estimates that 4.7 million rejections occurred in 2008, based on the industry average of one in a hundred manuscripts becoming a book, and on 47,541 new adult fiction titles published last year.

“Average writing is the cause,” says Roerden. “At least 90% of all submissions are rejected immediately because editors and agents quickly spot the clues to average writing and stop reading.”

Roerden, who teaches writers to see those clues, eliminate them, and boost their odds of getting published, offers the following ten tips:

1. Go naked: strip adverbs and adjectives from your writing. If a bare verb or noun seems weak, replace with a stronger one.
2. Open in the middle of action and keep it going, with no more than 3 words of description or history per paragraph until chapter 3.
3. Focus your story not on what happens but on the character it happens to. Open with her or him at a moment of change.
4. Stick to the thoughts of one character per scene. No mind-reading or head-hopping. Other characters must speak their thoughts or reveal them through observable behavior.
5. Sad, mad, glad are lazy labels. Labels tell. Instead, show behavior, facial expressions, and dialogue to let readers interpret feelings for themselves.
6. Delete these words from all dialogue: Well, yes, okay, sure, agree. Even when characters agree, change the response to a question or change the subject.
7. There is/was/are/were and It is/was create the most passive prose on the planet. Find all such phrases and rearrange: There was a (noun) waiting becomes A (noun) waited or The (noun) stood/took/held/existed/and so on.
8. Twist clichés. She looked like a million bucks tax free (Harlan Ellison).
9. Find every “as” used to suggest two actions occurring simultaneously. Most actions have different durations. Connect them with “and”; sometimes with “then”; not “and then” or “as.”
10. Read the kinds of books you want to write, then re-read 3 favorites to learn the techniques that make them favorites.

Don’t Sabotage Your Submission (Bella Rosa Books, ISBN 978-1-933523-31-6, Trade Paper, $17.95) shares insider secrets on how submissions to literary agencies and publishing houses are screened—and quickly rejected. Filled with over 230 examples and expert advice, Don’t Sabotage Your Submission describes the dead giveaways to average writing, and shows how writers can improve their odds of getting published. According to New York Times best-selling author Charlaine Harris, “Roerden’s book is chock full of practical advice for the novice writer. Even seasoned writers could use a copy as a refresher course.”

Chris Roerden has worked in publishing 44 years and taught writing for the University of Maine-Portland, University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, and UNESCO in South Korea. Authors Roerden has edited are published by St. Martin’s Press, Berkley Prime Crime, Rodale, Viking, Oceanview, and many others. A native New Yorker, Roerden now lives in North Carolina and leads workshops for writers throughout North America. For more information about Chris Roerden, please visit www.marketsavvybookediting.com. Based in South Carolina, Bella Rosa Books (www.bellarosabooks.com) is an independent royalty press that specializes in backlist reissues and original titles by commercially-established authors. For more information, please contact Maryglenn McCombs by phone—(615) 297-9875, or email— maryglenn@maryglenn.com.

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Mailbag: Press release promoting a resource for writers

Rightreading hereby initiates a new feature (no doubt destined to be as fitful as all our others) in which we answer e-mails from readers.

I know very little about book contracts.

Can you please elaborate on this subject?

Specifically, what percentage of each book sold should I receive as the author?

Dear reader

The most general answer is “whatever the market will bear.” If you are writing great poetry that will someday be taught in university classes, the answer is no one is likely to pay you any royalty at all. On the other hand, if you are a famous and controversial public figure — Sarah Palin say — you can pretty near name your price.

But the general answer isn’t much help to the vast majority of writers who fall somewhere between those extremes.

Royalties constitute a system whereby an author is rewarded for good sales by receiving a percentage of the income those sales generate. Commonly an author is paid an advance against future royalties on signing of a publishing agreement. The advance may be paid up front or in portions — half on signing and half on publication; or a third on signing, a third on delivery of a suitable manuscript, and a third on publication of the book (“publication,” by the way is an artificial date around which publicity is centered and is not the same as completion of production); or according to some other schedule. Authors should make sure advances are “guaranteed” and are not liable to be returned if the book doesn’t “earn out” — if royalties don’t equal or exceed the amount of the advance.

Royalties may be paid against the retail price on books sold, or against some other figure, such as net income after certain costs of sales are deducted. More often than not, royalty rates “escalate,” that is they increase by steps as different stages of sales are reached.

Basing royalties on retail price is the more traditional method. Typical royalty rates might look something like the following (although there is a great deal of variation, and I suspect the trend is downward).

.

As I mentioned, some publishers base royalties on net sales. The definition of net sales can vary, and it is important to specify what costs are used in the calculation. In general these should be direct costs of sales and not various sorts of publisher overhead. As a rule of thumb, sums eligible for royalties on a net basis might be about half what they would be on a retail basis largely because of trade discounts. So a 12% royalty on net might be roughly the same as a 6% royalty on retail.

Several factors can reduce royalties or delay their payment. These include freight allowances, deep discount sales, and reserves against returns.

Of course there are many more issues involved in book contracts than just royalties and advances against them. I will try to touch on some of the other factors in upcoming posts.

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Mailbag: What should my royalty rate be?